I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...
wow.. i have truly neglected this blog ever since i became so busy... honestly speaking, sometimes the blog is at the back of my mind but the thought of penning down something here becomes albeit tedious. and i wonder at the 'secrecy' of this cos i nv did really want my frens who knew me to read this. and ever since, i started a weibo, it has been easier and much convenient to pen my thoughts there (though it is in chinese) and of cos, things there will be perhaps more superficial than this blog i have (where i write down my inner thoughts).
honestly, i have no idea how long ago i blogged here. but today seemed like a special day enough to want to write down somethings.
I GUESS I HAVE REACH ANOTHER PHASE OF MY LIFE!! [no lah.. me not going to get married la... ]
i felt that i have gained much maturity over just this one and half year, ever since i left CfaN. like white hair is just going to appear and disguise it as wisdom! haha.. wats that suppose to even mean?? i know not! haha!!
anyway, after that year of leaving CfaN and then venture on to something else really cause me to grow so so much. the experience with SCGM that one year taught me smth so precious that i could not even fathom. the experience was formidable! yet, if u asked me if i wanna go thru it again, my ans will be 'No, thank you!'
that same year, i came to face the decision of being with someone. someone whom does not seem to make the cut. someone whom everyone around me feels that i deserved better. someone whom im annoyed by his idiosyncrasies yet at the same time amused. so we decide to give ourselves a year to think thru.
this year 2011, im finishing my internship and looking for some proper employment somewhere. i told my cg that my aim for this year for myself to start having decent savings. sad to say, my salary was nv high and the saga w SCGM has practically wiped out every cent of my savings (it is not a lot in the first place). im practically living on the grace of God and in my social service language, the handouts from my elder sis and the food ration from my parents... sound sad as it may.. im actually forward to proper employment and moving into the social service! [they really shld pay some allowance to the interns, la ]
and this year, this mark that one year and we have decide to be together. cgls were not very supportive and beckon me to think thru carefully to know what im in store for. so i took another 1 week to think thru and pray thru and i asked God for His wisdom. as if from the Holy Spirit, wat came to me was:
What i need now is not Wisdom. Wisdom is telling me that i should not marry this guy. But Love is asking me if i will want to finish this path will him. Faith is asking me if i can see myself walking this road with him. And Hope is asking me if i seen something in front of me.
It became so clear to me. i felt God has answered me. it is a road of faith, hope and love and the greatest of these 3 is love. will i abide in love for this relationship to work?
i was practically almost to tears when i saw this. it is almost God has been always there guiding me but yet i do not know. i have to hold on to this and not give up. after all, there is nv the perfect one but u becoming that one.
i was thinking to myself then is love greater than wisdom? my own ans to this qn is undoubtedly a YES! the scripture says that Love never fails.
"And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest is love." 1 Cor 13:13