I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...
well, i duno wat issit... is me trying to escape or wat... wanting to tell someone yet nt reali want to... mayb is the right person.. or mayb is the wrong... sighz... can someone dun ask me things on this blog that i have written.. and dun pretend that u noe me just coz u read this blog.. coz my mind is always changing and my circumstances too... the perspective from this blog is only one side of me... alwyas more to discover...
oh..has been quite some time since i left an entry here... reason due to i nt able to log in..and i thought it was the blog engine's fault until i realised is all my fault! i kept remembering the wrong password...haha!
well, is 5 days to a mth since i last blogged. things happened... good and bad.. and i hv no idea y i juz hv a rather emo mood nowadays..wanting to run away from everything and feeling moody a lot of times... im tired of myself yet i duno wat to do abt it... tired abt myself agn coz of this, that im nt able to change. but hey, who say i can change myself? is only God who can do that! but te expectations of others for me... im reali tired n disapointed at myself. one of my leaders told me when im disppointed and discouraged, it is coz i hv been looking at myself... not God, thats y i will feel like that. i noe only God can change me... but that reali takes a long long time. im grateful for wat He is doing in my life, yet im tired at the same time. maybe He is reali digging into my old man... the expectations of ppl for me... wans me to move on, grow up and change faster. how to? i think it is coz i hvnt been spending regular time with the Lord. but He has been gracious and has been patient with me. but i think He is sad too that i doesnt reali want to move on. there has been this constant dilemma struggling inside of me... wanting to move on, yet feeling helpless to. and worse off when im nt drawng near to Him. i wun be backsliding coz He loves me too much to let me... and i love Him to much to let go of Him... haha... contradicting..
i felt Him toking to me a few days ago at David Davis' mtg... and thought i had an encounter with Him.. but somehow, all these juz change the next day... i mean i have a recharge and resolution to spend time with Him again. but somehow, i juz did nt a few days later. is that call an encounter? it shld be life changing. but mayb i locking myself into that box i created for myself again. i lack that renew mind. yes, yes... i gotta to.. stop letting this piece of machinery depetes me again.
work wise, im tired again... wonder y..mayb im reali nt cut out to work in a 9 to 5 kind of work... i get tired.. and deflated easily... i work impromptu and ideas strike! i hate feeling disoriented and the feeling that i have to drga myself to work.. but i noe self discipline is lacking in me too...
i duno wat to say, but i wanna finish the song i had a few days ago.. i wanna finish up the song soon... :)