I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...
is new the 4th day of the lunar new year. time really flies. and many things have past. many unhappy things since the 1st day of the year, and they really got me down. not that many things.. but somehow that ONE thing always got my entire life down. have tried time and again to write here but could not. cos i thot is reali nt time to write down. now since i can write down here, i guess i really have quite gotten over it. "quite" is the keyword cos i noe i have not really. but then, im really hoping to leave it to the Lord and not mine cos my head and spirit just got heavy everytime i think about it.
ya ya... it was about the studies, again!
i have decided to leave it to the Lord... not my hands... i believe if it is His will, He will speak to me and give me a way. i dun wan to force my way in.. or out... 勉強是不會有幸福的.
anyway, these constant urgings made me reflect my life as a Christian and what is it meant by that. the things that i did and decide - were they God's things or good things? were they really biblical or man made traditions? were they really my conscience or God's conviction? - i want to make them as clear as possible. :)
i consider this period another dark time in my Christian life, under God's trial again. the last was 3 years ago that left me feeling dead. i dun reali believe i have passed that wilderness test...
this time, it is a different test... honestly, i hate it... but they got me seeing who am i inside me. however, this time i want to have a different spirit and i feel differently too. i feel that joy in my spirit whenever i think of this test. i want to GET those treasures in this dark times of mine! the treasures in the darkness! woohoo~! no matter wat i do, may i passed this test!!
i buang the parents car onto a carpark wall. was too tired and distracted. sighz... i thought that was such a bad start for the year yet looking positively, i shall not harp on it. neither did my parents harp on it. thank God! :P
thinking back... im really not a good driver. careless, bad judgment and poor knowledge of direction. mayb im really not suited to drive though i really like the feel of the rush and adrenaline i get zapping down the road...
hmm... i truely hope that this year will be a good one.
i choose to believe in the basic good of human cos nobody ever gets up one day and told him/herself that he/she is going to do something bad or kill somebody ( i assume). and it is this basic belief that enables ppl to work with one another. however, sometimes things got in the way and the selfish nature of a person turns up for work. then, that so call basic good may actually do something just to advantage oneself. so in that case, is human nature actually good or bad?
we are all made in the beginning, in the image of God. hence, in our original state, we are created to be good cos God is all good. nothing is bad in Him. but then, comes the fall of man when we decide to disobey Him and ate of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. then, this nature of man began to corrupt... it became so corrupted that even God was sorry that He made man. so He sent His only Son to die for us, in propitiation, of our sin. so, we became a new man in Christ. so from here, we are suppose to take on the nature of His Son. so from here, do we come back to that original state of man? or only when we led by the Spirit? there is not one good man, no not one. that is in the OT written by David ( i think). but how about when we come to the NT when the new covenant is suppose to be better than the old? so we are die to our old man and live in our new as it is written... so am i to believe that all who are in Christ, or believe in Christ has been regenerated? not so. cos even the apostle Paul was struggling himself about the things he wants to do but failed and end up doing those things which are not good... well, so how? is man good or not? theoretically yes and no. practically yes and no. human nature is naturally selfish. hence, we cant save ourselves. our God can. but yet, even when we are Christian, we are only progressing to be like Christ. yes.. PROGRESSING... then, so how about those who do not know Christ? are they only suppose to be helpless? are we suppose to presume that they are bad and not believe in the basic good? yet not so too, cos we are all made in the image of God, Christian or not.
conclusion of the matter? i really got to study about this more...