I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...
... that was the state that the Lord was in when HE was on earth more than 2000 years ago. when will be my turn to be able to say such a thing. yes! i lack the zeal of the Lord! this i knew was the lack in my heart for ..i dunno.. some time alredi. something was missing inside of me. yes, im still spending time with Him, im still faithfully doing my ministry, in fact,very busying doing. im even going for a mission trip. but where's that zeal? that passion? i knew that was the lack in my life when i look in my life a few wks back. it seemed all was in the external, but in the internal? am i merely goin thru motions? even my shepherd has said to me..stop being so laidback in your spirtual life. i was offended, but realised it is true. i hv been asking the Lord for the zealousness, for the zeal. and last wk, Pst Yang preached abt the Zeal of the Lord. ydae, Pst Samuel of the chinese congregation spoke on that. today, during the prayer mtg as they sent us out, they prayed abt that. the prayers literally hit me! i began to feel that fire, that zeal. i hope that this fire will nt burn out fast, but to keep and guard that fire in my hreat. i want to be fire torch that can set ppl on fire! that ppl will just and c me burn! ( ok, mayb im reali not there yet...) but reali, wat is a Christian who is lukewarm? not even the Lord says that i rather you, hot or cold? if u r lukewarm, i will vomit u out of My mouth. yes! the Lord rather us to be hot or cold. but lukewarm, was that?
im going for my trip this thur. many things have agn change in our initinery. thats truely exciting and interesting! i have always a passion for souls but let it not be me, but He who called me to the harvest field to give that to me!
yar..jus as my title suggested. i shld indeed count my blessings! i realised or rather observed that i am quite a pessimistic person. always remeber the bad things but not the good things. well, lately, i have been sick, then i stepped onto something ydae, before that there were quite a few changes to my mission trip due to unforeseen circumstances. i tell u, i was quite disappointed. i thought, hm.. is God tellign me something? Issit not in His will that I shld go for this mission trip???
but today i was toking to my mission trip team mates. both of them all felt that God has been good to all of us in the team. and even though after much unexpected changes and unconfirmations, my team leader has remained unfazed..(i guess thats y she is the team leader..haha). on the way home from our mtg today, ezel actuali said, the Lord has been good to the 2 of us, i.e, the team leaders and me. and i was quite taken aback coz i dun in any way find that the Lord has been good to me in this event. she said, "yar.. God shortened the trip for noth of u... Pauline on her time, and u on ur finance. rem we were suppose to go 2 places initially, now is only 1, u will have enuf money, and Pauline will hv enuf time to rest." when she said that, i was like..yar hor.. how come i nv thot abt that. truely, if the trip is supposed to go 2 places, i dun think i will hv enuf money to go. and i believed the Lord would not have want me to borrow from other ppl. now, my trip fee is JUST RIGHT! not too much and not too little! Thank God! i reali must learn to look at the "brighter" side of things, like how God has blest me! think soemtimes i read too much into things and many things look like premonitions to me.. overspiritualise (if there's such a word)! oh..and i just rem that.. Pauline also say she felt we are to come with a heart of thanksgiving today... :D
so ppl, count ur blessings today! with a thanksgiving! ;)
ok, i have decide to post something here..haha..after some time of silence... hmm..seems that the more u dun think abt this blog, u dun even think of loggin! ha..im stating the obvious.. which is duh.. ar.. 我在说什么??!
anyway, i hve sick for a few days.. from just a cough and fever to a sorethroat and cold (oh..my nose..) and it evolves into a full fledge flu.. i even experienced spinning headaches!! but thank God! im alrite now... thank all of u who has offered to pray for me.. though im not sure if u realli do.. :P im guilty of it sometimes too.. it is so Christian and nice to say.."i will pray for u".. but in the end, i forgot! not that i purposely .. but i reali forget after a day of busyness and tasks to go abt... so i've decided to, if i offer to pray for someone, i will say, " i wil pray as the spirit leads me to". coz if i promise and i dun, is a v bad thing to do, and it puts the stress on ME. and if i say i dun wan to pray...hm..no rite lei.. so if i said, i will pray as the Spirit leads me to, it is stressing on Him, the Holy Spirit, and not myself. not as if i depend myself to pray anyway. i think it will be far more effective that the Holy Spirit guides me in my prayer than i pray in my own intellect.
anyway, another thing to say..i think i have been v clumsy recently.. today i acidentali stepped onto something ( and still have no idea wat was it) and my sole bleed! not a lot but is painful... hw to walk? abt 3 wks ago, or less than that, i hit my head and it bleed.. and that was scary! after all, is the 1st time i seen my own head bleed... i was like oh no, wat shld i do huh? dunno hw to cope with it, but i kept my cool, as usual. and my dad's the funniest.. he just said, "drink more water"! i think this is one of the blessings God has given me. keep my cool. ha... i dun usuali panic when things happened. either im too cool or mayb im too slow to react..hahaha... mayb both..
ok, away with the mundane old stuffs and my everyday lives... i need to be established!! established in the Word! the Bible says that by understanding, a house is established! i nd understanding. in all thy getting, get understanding! but i reali want to say is... be established in the Word. i reali hv to say i hv been neglecting my time with the Lord though i hv been doing so MANY things. that left me with not much time to spend time with Him. not that i din, but is NOT enuf!! felt empty even though after my time with Him coz i noe there is so much more into Him. not only that, i realise i nd to nt only hv so much knowledge but the understanding and discernment to sue them. i juz read something from Hebrews.. it says, "but solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those senses exercised to discern both good and evil".. well, my emphasis here is on "of full age" - mature. mature ppl are those whose sense are exercised, practised to noe good and evil.. so we nd to PRACTISE!
im going to memorise the Beattitudes. was toking to a 小妹妹 ydae... hehe..she is from my church whom i just got to noe she is my neighbor!! haha..spore is real small.. anyway, while toking to her.. felt i have a revelation on the Beatitudes! ok lah, not realli revelation, illumination.. suddenly felt is so impt to noe all of them and for them to become "flesh" in our lives! all along to me, the Beattitudes are just .. the Beattitudes lor... but somehow, it came to me that, they are the qualities that every Christian shld hv. come to think of it, it is a VERY impt sermon that Christ started with.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, For their is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are thsoe who mourned, For they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, For they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thrist for righteousness, For they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful, For they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, For they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, For they shall be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Matt 5:3-11