I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...
today 30th..tmr is 31st..then my holidays!! haha..actualli strictly speaking, my holidays have started. some of my frens gave me the *duh* or are-u-kidding-reaction when i told them im goign to have 2 weeks holidays coz i jus started school a mth ago... but then, the spore schools also hving their holidays nx wk wat...
ok, i have alredi wk out wat i am going to do during my holidays..if nothing crops up. i will be cleaning up my room - is in a mess eversince i start sch...dunno whr to put all the papaers and books... then i will be looking thru my notes and take down some notes - i am gopign to be a good student *grin*... doesnt sound fun huh?? maybe i will do some other things also..like mtg up with frens, etc... and of coz meddling with my comp... (though i wanted to cut down my time on it, but i did cut down... last time i used to use it everyday, now maybe every 2 days? ;P)
ok, tmr we celebrating quan and finna's birthday. finna's turning 21 next wk. :)
i have been bz...bz with my school... hmm, but also contemplating if i shld get a part-time. really hate to add on burden to my dad... after all, his money is hard-earned money. and i really hate asking him for money, even though i dun think he is that hard-up, but then my family has some financial constraint, hvg to pay instalments for many things... and hvg 7 ppl in my family... duh... and i have bills to pay... my hp.. my broadband... thinking of terminating them, then i will be one "uncontactable" person.. haha... im afraid to find a part-time since i think i've alredi too much on my platter. wat if i cldnt catch up with my school work if i start wkg? even though my timetable's realli lax, to succeed in my current studies on not really depends on my self-discipline. and then, the subjects were not that ez too. and if im gg to join some ecas (or wat they call now"ccas"), i think i realli have no time liao. but i dun think i will be joing if i am gg to work... hmm, how? i realli liao ah... give tuition? give some tuition to pri sch kids?
and i have been hvg trouble with my maths... oops...gonna find some one to teach me, and of coz, look for the lecturers :D
"Seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will given to you" - Matt 6:33 - a familiar verse, but then, not ez to apply when one is realli in the category... aiyah, leave all unto God lah... heehee... Bible says," Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about its own. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." - comes right after the previous verse. haha.. i think tts the problem abt man - think too much.
ha.. i spend some time today looking over the net for freewares for my palm... found quite a lot... and i almost used up all my palm's memory..oops... hee... let me check how much memory my palm has left... 697Kb.. oh... dun think i can add more things in already... now im palm savvy...*wink*... haha... i now have updated news on my palm, guitar tuner and chords... photos... some databases for journaling and scriptures... i went to this website called palmfreeware.net?? err... hving used it, i actualli forgot its url *duh* cannot be "wang en fu yi" ah... i can find some more goodies on it leh... oops...hehe.. i wonder if i can add another bible commentray inside my palm...
yupe, as i said earlier, i wasnt exactly sad about it at all. in fact, i was rather for it coz that would mean other ppl will have to rise up as the cg got smaller. but somehow, i had some mixed feelings now. i realise that thru this multiplication God somehow revealed my spiritual condition to me. i realised i am not prepared. i realised my spiritual immaturity. i realised i am completely unprepared for the multiplication. :( i was saddened by my conditon. but it is God's grace that He has made known to me. i really wnat to grow out of my childishness of thinking and go on to maturity. i dun want to fall into the category of wat Paul said that though by this time u shld be eating meat, but u are still drinking milk(rephrase my own). i want to grow out of my immature ways... really... i want to go on!! i want to go on to higher grounds!
just now while i was bathing, i was thinking of something wat Pst Yang said this morning, and i had an impression of a house. teh house looks like a nice and sturdy one. but it came to me was "wat foundation issit built on?" i was reminded of the wise man who built his house on the rock mentioned in the Bible... and the scripture,"no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid which is Jesus Christ" and the preceeding, am i building on the rock, the gold and silver or wood, hay or stubble? i believed this is something God is speaking to me regarding the multiplication. and i ahve to ask myself this question. wat have i been building on?
for the next few weeks or so, before the multiplication actually happened, i am going to ask God to prepare my heart for it. that He will give me the grace. :)
just now we have a rather good nite's fellowship at jason's hse... we have crabs and other dishes fr dinner... main lead of course is the "heng xin ba dao" crab! all cook by very own "talented" chefs... fen, khiu and sharon... some others are assistants... that includes me... until i got clamed by a crab's pinchers...*ouch!* that was due to my carelessness... i just put in my hand into the plastic anyhow-ly and the crab attacked me! :(. anyway, khiu took over my duty after they see how poor thing am i... haha... khiu had got his own 1st experience of killing crabs..haha!! anyway, later on i took on the job of being the day's photographer for the whole dinner and cooking scene... i got many of them filmed down! many funny things happened.. LOL... like the chilli crab initially doesnt smell like chilli crab but assyam crabs...heehee..but later on, some how everything turns to be alrite..the chilli crab completed. and the black pepper got everybody coughing and coughing and running out of the kitchen..haha... realli, the smell of the pepper is simply too strong... and i have no words to describe it... is unbearable... and somehow we put too much black pepper... my tongue got numbed afterwards while eating the black pepper crab... i was so "moved" by it... haha ;P too bad i cldnt post the pictures here... the blogger simple dun allow it coz mine is a free version... so no adding of images... think will add anotheer link for pictures soon... hmm.. but i'm thinking of spending less time on the computer... :P
yupe, we had a fun day tonite... the cg is multiplying.... think this may be one of the good times we might missed next time after we mulitply... somehow, i felt this will going to be a trying time for me... find it strange though coz im not exactly sad about the multiplying but in fact, i was quite for it. hmm... maybe is another test by the Lord for me... for enlarging my heart... really prepare my heart for teh multiplying... hm, will tok about this at another note... this entry is suppose to be on a happy note...
argghh... is nearly 2am in the morning... and i am still awake.. and the worse thing is, i am struggling to keep my eyes open, and yet when i close my eyes to sleep, my mind just keep thinking and thinking... i m a thinker.. but argghh... i wanna sleep leh! wats the worst thing when u want to sleep but u cant sleep?? and i have an early class tmr... and is maths! how am i going to have my clarity of mind?? actualli, is worse when i am facing my pc.. how to sleep? actuali i on it coz i went to c if there's an afternoon class i can attend, but alas! there's no afternoon class for maths... so i ended up here...since i hvnt blog today...haha... wats this?? entertain myself? or ppl out there reading this?? ;P
hmmm... maybe i can have a wink when i cm back from sch tmr... before setting off for my cg...
yoz, din blog for a few days... busy + lazy.. hyuk hyuk... btw, my comp was infected with the lastest virus which will auto shut off ur comp... how are there so many viruses??!! just out to get Bill Gates?? i think the only ppl who got into trouble will be the companies and the econmy.. i dun think anybody will stop buying Windows products since they are so painfully common. and they will cure the virus too...
anyway, this morning as i was hving my lesson break, i heard somebody called out my name. i was shocked coz i dun think anybody noes me in that sch yet, or at least not by my chinese name. i turned around. is my PRI SCH BEST FRIEND!! fancy mtg her at SIM! i have lost contact with her after she moved to another neighbourhood when i was in Sec 2. i din even wats she doing even though i kept her in my mind. so we getto tok abit.. though i din get to meet her for lunch after the lesson.. she rushed off to meet another fren for lunch. she just graduate from poly last yr.. now she's wkg as she study... she looked a bit different. she took off her glasses and put on contact lenses... and she put on a bit of weight... and that's not a bad thing after all she was very skinny when she was young.. looed a bit malnutritious...oops...shl;d i described my fren lidat?? anyway, that was a long time ago. :) dunno when i will meet her agn since her course difft frm mine. i only saw her today coz she "jumped" class. her class suppose to be tmr.. and she told me her nx class will be nxt tue and i dun hv any class on tues... we exchanged number though. :)
get to noe some ppl today... still very unfamiliar though... tts a good start i think. and get to noe this guy named Wayne. difft course frm mine thoguh some subjects similar. i was wondering why he was always wearing sunglasses in the class and he told me that coz he just went for laser op and his eyes are still too senstitive too c light hence the sunglasses. his eyesight was at power of 1000+ before surgery!
hey khiu, take care! he said he got diarhoea over a cup of expired cup noodles.. whoa... first time i heard of tt ... take care really... and dun eat too much cup noodles.. esp expired ones! hehe..=P
btw, i met one of my ex college mate in the libraray just now... she 's in dip in econs... heard frm her that many ppl from our school is here... really? how come i din see them?? anyway, it is good ot see her again. :) but then i forgot to ask her for her mobile no... cldnt find her again after we finished chatting... hope to see her again. :)
yoz..greetings from my school.. i am now typing this in my school library, The Tay Eng Soon Library. was studying for a bit coz i realised i have missed a lot of lessons this week... almost 4... why?? coz i saw my timetable wrongly!! the timetable was typed in a way that looks like this week i have no class except for friday..ie..today.. but alas, when i reached school today and as the lecturer starts the lesson, i realised something is wrong. so i looked at my timetable again.. tah tah... my 1st lesson shld be on the 1st and today's 8th.. my 2nd lesson on this subject and that is to say i have missed all my class in between... so i have to catch up with my lessons. the admin side said that it will be impossible that there will be make-up lessons for them :( aiyah..musnt b so blur nxt time... no, no, no next time!meanwhile, i trust in God who will help me with my schoolwork.. :)
btw, today's lesson on Maths... :( ...i am very much a maths idiot and have some phobias on numbers and more so on algebra... i dun understand why my mind just cldnt grasp the concept of such abstract "numbers"... whenever maths is taught in algebra... duh... my mind goes blank. oops.. and it din help that my lecturer just keep rattling on as if everybody understand... and it din help either when i stopped taking maths after my 'O's... so now, i must sought help on the topics...or how am i going to survive when the time comes that i have to take stats! i need grace for maths, and rely on above! amen. :)
i have not log on or blog for a day... or at least near a day. but i am still working on the computer... working on the video im making for steph... said that my computer cldnt take the size of the video... not so... it turned out that there is something wrong with video clip itself.. duh.. so im still on working for the thing... hmmm.. i like working on the computer, i like flaunting my creative juices but many often i dun hv the skills to carry out wat i want. i like creating websites, creating videos... but then im not a student of the multimedia. nor am i a IT student. or even one working on IT. i just like to play around with Multimedia... some ppl asked me why dun i consider studying IT... well, i dunno... never had that incline to go take an IT course. dunno why... maybe i will just not like IT that much after i studied it. afterall, i will becausee something of a expertise or just a profession instead of a hobby? maybe the Lord has not lead me in the way of IT. i just find it interesting. haha...
im going to school tmr... 9.30am... hope i can sleep earlier... Goddnite and God bless. :)
of coz, it is only legally right that only heterosexual are considered married! if this is not going tobe controlled, i wonder how the world will be in the future? homosexuals will adopt children, and then who is going to be the father orthe mother? both Papa or Mama?? this is something definitely not quite right... population... ethics...
hmm..now trying to make a video of Steph's baptism today... but then one of the video taken at the ceremony seemed to be too much on my computer... it cldnt take the pressure... video stuck. c how i can work this out. this video is way overdue. the baptism was ...2 mths ago?? or more?? anyway, it was meant to be a gift to Steph... now thinking of idea to make this video a memorable to one to her... heehee... did one before, that was for raymond. but i dunno if he has view it yet coz when i gave him the completed wk, his comp happened to broke down. wonder he has forgotten abt it...
ok, after this, i am going to prepare the songs i am going to lead for p&w this friday... then we will go catch "pao ba hai zi" (homerun) together!! midnite show! yipee... heard tt is quite a good show. :) but then, i havent decide if i will be going. i have to work on sat leh... :(
and i actualli wanted to do some reading on the Songs of Songs, but i hvnt got down to do it... shldnt shldnt...discipline! ok... going off now to do my stuff...read! then, prepare songs... i will do the video later... errr... or tmrw.. haha... must set things in priority... keke...
on another note, the dinner was fine just now... we had normal chinese zhi cha... (if u dun understand, it is cook and fry in hokkien...i think so). then we adjourned to geylang for tou huei (soya beancurd)... initially thought of going for durians, but in the end we went to have some tou huei instead.
and on the way and while we were there, many of us are tried out hands or lips on hui's new flute... hey is a subject of hers at nie!!haha... as if we know how to blow it... try as hard as we could, we just cldnt get any sound from it... some manage to blow some sounds/noise? out though... haha... so many ppl tried it that hui has to say she going to bring home to sterilise it! haha...
i will be going on a diet... putting on weight... someone has commented(long ago) that my weight seemed to be rather constantly going up! :( now, thats bad news... :P ok, i will start today! i shall cut down on my food intake and do some exercises to keep myself fit. i felt unhealthy and uncomfortable... :( must take care ah... i will going on a diet on my money too... must save up... be disciplined!! *saying to myself*
hmm...dunno what to name this entry... just saying that i am going out for my din soon... haha.. cell leader birthday and we are celebrating today... and i think one of the bros will be treating us... haha... but then even it is not, is ok too.. since im always under credit..haha :P no choice, i have no money yet... my dad hasnt give me my allowance yet. must go chase for it!!
this is to bro khiu: hey thanks! i just realise one or two mths ago that giving and mercy is a gift from God! "Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them:.... he who gives, with liberality... he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness." - Rom 12:6-8
yesterday we had a guest speak, Gary Weins with us in the svc. he was preaching on the Parable of the Lost Son. and i dun really find his preaching very good... think mayb i was still sleepy at that time... having slept for no more than 5 hours in 2 days... but somehow i felt somewhat "touched" by the msg at the end... is the Holy Spirit i think... so i decided to stay on for the next svc... and i was glad i have stayed. :)
His msg was different from the first one..this time on the aspect of prayer - Parable of the Persistent Widow. yet, the focus of his msg was still the same from the first. that was amazing. his msg was very good.. also i think i was more awake at the same time..:P focussing on the love of God and the Bride... the Bride position the church shld take. he said that many ppl misinterpret that God wans us to pray like the persistent widow but then, he felt that God has used it more as a contrasting element between the nature of God and the unjust judge. the unjust judge who doesnt regard God nor men who will only move when and do something when we pester him and irritate him by the widow's persistence. but God is not like him, God is a passionate God who loves us and in love with us. the position we must get on is an intimate relationship like what Queen Esther to the King... who is a type of the Father... who will give anything to her..even up to half of the kingdom! i simply love the msg.. it is different... it is funny... it is even romantic in a sense... haha.... and it talks about Esther... ;P... hehe... oh yar.. he preaches from the Book of Luke on the Persistent Widow as an intro... main scriptures from Book of Esther and the Songs of Songs. :)
Must get the CD! or u can download it at the church website... (but i think is not up yet... maybe wednesday earliest...) And i must empahsize... BOTH msgs are equally good though i talked only abt the 2nd msg.. :)
just now my mum told me i have to go help in her stall tmr... arghh... reason is coz my mum's helper will not be going to the stall tmr... that's rather irritating... last week same thing happened coz my sis went on holiday and im supposed to go help out. this always happened when u take one step down and say "ok", then they will take one more step. maybe i shldnt have agreed. so i will be reaching my svc late tmr. dun really like the idea of it, but wat to do??
just now was chided by one of my leaders... hmm.. actualli not exactly... maybe just a gentle rebuke. was commenting that i have talked without respect to the leaders... oh no... and i actuali din realised it, i thought i was just kidding around.. and they will understand... afterall, i am not one who ALWAYS crack jokes. only with those whom i am closer to... anyway, i felt a bit unjustified when i was rebuked..after all, i am nt the only one doing it, why issit only me who got the rebuke?? anyway, i just kept reminding myself to be open to correction. after all, this is wat i have been asking for. my policy has always been chastisement and rebuking is better than no reply and ignorance from God. i take it that whoever was on top of me is arranged by the Lord. so i have to submit. anyway, the Bible says offense will come. but then, this isnt the case.. i mean im not talking abt offense but rather on my attitude... be open to correction. and i take it that whenever i am offended, it will mean the problem is with me... there is something obviously i have not surrendered to the Lord and thats why i will be offended.
ok, i think the reason i got the rebuke is coz i am suppose to be a good example to others around me... that was also the reason why i wasnt really corrected or rebuked in the past.. i remembered one of my leaders said to me sometimes, leaders wun rebuked a person directly but rather do it in a way where others will do it coz sometimes the person might not be able to take the rebuke ( like me??). and that is why some issues the leader will not correct one who is young first. of course, i am not talking about those foundation truths... that MUST be corrected!! why? coz is foundation!
so when now i got corrected nowadays for small things i do... issit a good news or not? ;D
yep. after i kept rambling on and on about my day yesterday, i wanna tok abt the mtg too.. heehee.. ydae's mth at church was Prayer for the Nations. our church is called to be the House of Prayer for All Nations. we split into respective groups to pray for different nations. they were the Phillippines, Africa, China, Sri Lanka, Myanmar, Israel, all of which our church have some work in. after that, we split to 2 or 3 praying for our very homeland, Singapore.
i din noe where i shld go... in the end i went for Africa...
the prayer mtg was good, very good, many people prayed, spontaeneously... and we prayed for our Uganda Pastor who just rose from the dead! is teh truth, our pastor shared with us abt 2 weeks ago. Pst Aloysius was in hospital and was very sick. he vomitted blood and his heart beat just stopped! he was pronounced dead, but after a few days or hours, whichever it was, i forgot... on the way to the mortuary, they heard a gasp of breath under the covers. it was Pastor Aloysius! he came back alive! this is really a testimony. he gave a testimony on what he saw while he was dead... he was conscious and he saw mountains and streams, felt as light as a feather that he could leaped over them!
so life after death is a truth... after u died for 3sec, u will realised u are still alive and is conscious of ur surroundings. is definitely not just a i-no-longer-existed-after-i-die thing. u will be consious. but the thing is, where will u be?
hiyee...gd afternoon! i am now at home, doing nothing...chatting and typing this..haha... yesterday was a rather "pack" day..but then i din realli get to do much things...
yesterday i was supposed to have lesson at 1.30pm till 4.30pm. so i reached my sch at 1.25pm and went in to the allocated lecture rooms. there, sitting, waiting...still dunno anybodi around me(my 2nd day in sch only...)my lecturer has come in yet. ..1.35...1.45...2pm... a lady came in and she said," sorry, ur lecture will be slightly delayed." when she said that, people around me were saying to one another...hah? half an hour still slightly ah?? okie, nvm...then 2.15...2.20..2.30..still no one in sight..an hour has passed. lecture door opened again. that same lady came in again.." i am sorry to inform u that we cldnt contact the lecturer. therefore, we will have dismiss the class. " *duh*
anyway, i went round the campus to take a "proper" look... nothing much..there's 2 libraries, 2 koi ponds, 2 foodcourts... not much, really not much..haha... but it was still early...i was supposed ot be in church at 7.30pm, so i estimated myself to reach there around 6.30pm to have my dins... but then..coz of the cancelled lecture...way too early..
in the end i reached my church at 6pm after wasting much time in the library and on travelling... but still too early so i went to the church's bookstore and talked with a few people i noe there...
6.30 came and i went to have din... and then 7.30, the mtg start.
oops..am i narrating my whole day?? a bit borring eh? i noe..sori ah..my engrish not tt good to spice up with words... mayb nxt time i will some some pepper and salt..keke