I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...
well well well, after that "review" of the phantom of the opera, i decided to say something serious.
well, my life or rather my career has been looking good lately. be it in my work in CfaN or the freelance im thinking of starting, all seem to be looking well. but somehow, i just begin to wonder: are all these really God's will for me? coz somehow, i have nt chose to be in these designing line, but i was just in them just so naturally without any effort of mine. it just seemed so natural. but i was just thinking of this: does every open door neccessarily mean is God's way? well, i duno and somehow i think the answer is, it depends.
i was juz asking the Lord ydae when karen actualli asked me to consider the position i was in, to ask me to look a bit more further, to ask me to not just look at it as juz a job but a ministry and when i noe where im gg, have that vision, i can go much further. i agree with her. all along, i dun just treat the job at CfaN as juz a job but as a ministry. but somehow, that little tok she told me gives me a further ponder upon it. truely as i was juz praying abt it at home, i reali do noe that i duno abt this designing work im doing, how issit gg to contribute to my life as a whole. i knew somehow my end will be gg into the fields, but i was thinking, so how is this designing skills cmg to work in the future? issit gg to be a tool where i can used it to be a tentmaker? issit gg to be a reason that i can be based overseas? i reali duno? and somehow im asking the Lord for a vision, a direction. the Lord did give the assurance of giving me grace and skills for the work in design in CfaN and i reali dun c it as a coincidence to be put into this position doing this work, btu somehow all these still doesnt realli make sense to me at all in the future. mayb God's way is reali so much higher that i can in no comprehend at all wat is cmg in my way in the future. and how long am i to stay in CfaN? i felt is nt gg to be long, but how long exactly is short? to the Lord, nothing seemed to be long at all coz wat is 5 yrs or even 10yrs compared to eternity? well, i guess i jus have to trust and believe that He is faithful coz i noe his thoughts of me are good and they are to give me a future and a hope. :)
so Lord, help me to see. Lead me in Your ways. And Lord, even as i asked for wat i can see for my end, Lord i ask that U will even let me see the in-between. So even as i run forward, I wun be just running in circles, but straight into where You want me to be in. Lord i noe im still in training, and somehow it just seemed to be still just the beginning. and i am still just somewhr near the starting of the track, but Lord i pray, give me the endurance and perseverence to go on, to move on coz i noe Your thoughts for me are always good, Your plans for me are always the best. Lord, help me, guide me, lead me, speak to my, my Lord.
went to watch phantom of the opera on tue at esplanade with sam, my sis and her fren. well, i have to say that i look rtaher forward to it coz i have been wanting to watch it ever since it came to spore when i was only 12. but of coz, i din get to watch it then coz where will the money come from?
anyway, the show din disappoint. it was a bit boring at times and i thot it was only coz i was too tired until my sis pointed out at the end of the show that she nearly fell asleep at certain times when they kept singing. she also mentioned that someone behind was sleeping coz she cld hear the sound...heh.. but then, it wasnt that kind of boring boring. it was still rather interesting for most of it. i was rather amazed at the visual effects and the stage settings. i like the boat scenes, of how the river( i think) looked rather convincing. the esplanade's stage wasnt big enough i guess coz when the dancers danced, they looked a little bit cluttered. oh, and i think their orchestra was marvellous! it was great. the only thing maybe thats a bit lacking is the exploration of the whole plot. well, mayb i reali have to read the whole book to fully comprehend wat happened before and y it happened. my sis cldnt understand the part where the phantom's hair turned white and looked like an old man after his mask was taken out by christine. well, i dun too. and i wondered if that phantom's reali juz a man? coz i think he is a juz a man but somehow he did hv some controlling power too... anyway, maybe i will reali look up the book to understand wat happened in certain parts.
oh, this is only my 2nd musical. my 1st one was chang & eng. and i cld say that mayb i still like chang & eng a bit more than the phantom coz of the subject matter involved. but again, these 2 are of different genre, so cant compare lidat. :)
i realised, i dun reali like this blog space.. coz unlike blogger, i cant save my entry as draft... tis mrng i hv written something in the office but cldnt finish coz i was doing something and my colleague kept peeping over to c wat im doing that i cant blog in comfort and my own space. arghh! i nd some private space man! cant help that my area can be seen by colleague behind me and when they go to the pantry area to get water.. i reali reali dun like it when ppl peep over my stuff :( haiz, but i guess, humans are all kpos lah..
anyway, on another note.. hm.. i forgot wat i wrote this mrng, but it is in a way regarding wat winnie shared in cell last nite.
abt being real to each other in the cell.
well, thats wat i thought too for a long long time coz we are just nt comfortable in opening up to one another. reasons i reasoned last time was that we are still new to one another, so maybe this kind of thing takes time lah... but then, even after 1 year, i think this situation has nt reali improved by a lot but i think thats a bit more... or mayb like wat jx says, we all dun try to think too much abt... and i was thinking sometimes thinking too much isnt v good esp when we will get emo abt them.. heyz heyz, i noe this is super random, but i juz rem wat i typed this mrng! ahhaa...
anywayz, continuing... i remembered telling may how i just still wasnt used to my cell ever since multiplication. is alredi almost 1.5yrs or mayb more? ppl are still nt opening up. sometimes i reali feel helpless and i reali feel i have done wat i can do. i used to wonder issit me that is still hvg the old wineskin, nt able to change how things are wkg now. or issit of the age grp, things are difft and ppl respond difftly. or issit coz i was so familiar with my old cell and hv so much fun with them that i compared cells? i guessed all these nds 2 hands to clap. sighz. i reali duno. but i hv to say with my tough time last yr, i was reali discouraged to a point that i dun even make an effort to want to connect sometimes. sometimes, i juz wish to disappear after svc. isnt that utterly sad? but yet i cant, coz im in the core grp. can i sometimes just throw tanturms for a while? afterall, im still human. but agn, thats the flesh at work agn. flesh, flesh, when r u gg to die?? on another note, im reali glad that winnie mentioned that coz weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice is exactly wat a cell shld be. nt juz hvg fun together but also woes. isnt that wat an army is too?
oki. back to wat i blogged tis mrng... i toked abt hw i will usuali get emo reading ppl's blog and even my old past entries coz i noe my entries are nt always the happiest most of the time. even though the 'haha's are everywhr, myself noes wat they meant... so i was thinking, issi tblogging reali the best thing to do? this thought came to me nt only once ever since i started blogging. a sad christian is an oxymoron isnt it? haha... ok.. im gg to end here... :)
just realised that this dumb template has got something wrong when browsed with mozilla, the browser im currently using. hmm.. so, for best view, pls use the monopolised Internet Explorer. thank you. :(
honestly speaking, i seriously think there is something wrong with me, especially my weight! this morning, when i weighed myself it was xxkg... *shocked*. ok, i noe i have been gaining so much weight that i duno wat to do...sigh... wat happened man?? even if i dun eat that much also going up..:( anyway, so i decided to go for a jog... so later in the evening after my jog, i dropped by 1 kg.. wah! seriously, my water retention super horrible! i feel like a sponge man...
anyway, im also hvg problem with my heel ( i think is call the plantar facilitis or something lidat), so i actuali shldnt be jogging or wearing heels but i have done both for the last 1 week..haha... no wonder is so painful today :(.. i shall go c a chinese doc maybe tmr since ang mo doc nt much use also.. think hv to go c a specialist i think if cont to c ang mo... so, c if a chinese sinseh will help or not...heh... is this call 未老先衰?
ok, i have scheduled for a general health check up next mth to c if i hv any more problems...haha.. ic more money growing wings *fly*
i juz successfully installed my old hard drive into my current comp. keke.. now in the midst of clearing up the mess and making space for my documents.
i just spent more than $250 on clothes yesterday... and i have to pay my graduation ceremony deposits of about $300 next week.. and i have to help my sis put a deposit of $100 for her chalet later... im super broke this month! :( and i have already exceeded my budget for spending liao...ahh!!
just got to hear the proposal of tim's business venture yesterday... sounds quite promising... and im joining him. wah.. a shareholder lei... haha. and i need to get my own ideas for my own site ready too! oh, and of coz, my projects at CfaN... cant neglect that.
oh..and this blog is undergoing a transfer soon... im migrating it to another blog soonz... haha...
im pretty bored while waiting for my files migration and this entry is rather random! no no.. is completely random! haha
前几天,不知为什么,我突然想到这点。 认识我的话,就会知道我每次会突然想到一些有的没的。。。anyway, 我就想起,我为什么突然喜欢寿丝和生鱼片,因为我已前不是那么喜欢的。我回想起那天我姐姐带我去吃的情景。其实,也没什么特别。就是她找我去逛街,然后去吃晚饭而已。但是,不知道为什么,那时候的感觉很甜。也加上那里的生鱼片特别新鲜。从那天以后,我就对那生鱼片情有独钟!哈哈。很夸张hor? but then, 我也不知道为什么我会感觉到特别我心。可能是因为她很久没跟我单独出门了吧。自从姐姐,妹妹都有另一半了后,根本就不没机会跟她们出去。
啊。。。 我想我还是真的诗歌挨家的人!哈哈!!
post note: quite a random post hor? haha...
p. post note: on another random note, i finally finished my shopfont design and it is up! woohoo!!~~ no need to headache for that agn..time to move on to the next headache!! haha!!
hmm.. rem the dream that i shared before a few wks ago? if not, you can refer downwards... well... i shared this with a few of my frens and i bought 2 books regarding interpreting dreams too.. named, "understanding the dream that you dream" and its part 2.
the books are not bad. gave simple illustrations of interpreting dreams and how to go about it. the author says, when a person goes to another for help to interpret dream, most of the time, that person will get the answer, "meditate abt it", that suggestion may be good and valid coz we do nd God's help to interpret it since He is the one who gave the dream in the 1st place, but some ppl may not know where to start or even how to start meditating. it is like putting a person in a desert and say "find the way"... heh.. sori ah.. this lousy analogy is given by myself, not the author. anyway, the author included a dictionary of symbols in the book that ppl may most dream of and that are more common, eg, vehicles, numbers, etc. it gave some brief descriptions of wat the objects might symbolise with scripture support to say why the symbols represents that respectively. it is a 'might' coz it has to be in context with the dream and depends on the revelation given by God too. but i would say it is a useful way to somehow start interpreting the dream. for myself, most of the time, when i dream, i already somehow hv an idea of wat issit abt and i believed that God will also give some understanding abt it. however, there are certain details that i may not be clear of. so, that was the reason y i bought the books.
anyway, back to the interpretation of my dream...
one fren said, " u must be in the will of God"... wat came to me was..true, true.. but wat issit abt? issit my life? my ministry? my ministry now or the future? wat issit?
another fren said, "the moral of the story is noe where u are going".. thats true too...i thought...
then another fren said, " i thought it might be toking abt you being send forth to another country..."
today, another one said, " u must noe where you are going even before you start going anywhere"....
woohoo!~
and so, with my own understanding plusthose "helps" i get from my frens and plusthe book.. my interpretation of that dream is this...
1. it is abt my life ministry 2. it is abt me being send forth in the future 3. before i go, i must noe if that place is where God wans me to go, that is, issit the will of God? 4. cannot just anyhow go 5. if i happened to really get lost, go back to the church, and they will help me to come back
and last but not least, it is a warning from God! noeing my character and my tendency, God is always gracious enuf to warn me abt things... and im glad God confirmed certain things in my life even thru this dream... God indeed cares abt each and every one of us :)