I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...
im rtning to my life from 3am onwards. back to normal. Lord, my life belongs to YOU!!
Running After You by Planetshakers Your Word is a light unto my path Your Love guides me through my darkest night And even though sometimes Your ways I cannot understand I'll never walk away because my future's in Your hands
I don't care what people will say I'm running after You I won't turn back and go their way Coz I'm running after You Yeah I'm running after You I'm running after You(I will run to You)
I don't care what people will say I'm running after You I won't turn back and go their way Coz I'm running after You Don't matter what may come my way I'm running after you It's You I'm following today I'm running after You I'm running after You
Centre of My Life by Hillsong London
Let my walk speak loud And my words be true Let my life be whole and my eyes on You Lord I'm stepping out, from the comfort zone Letting go of me, holding on to You
Freedom comes, when I call You Lord You are Lord, my God
You are the Centre of it all The universe declares in awe Your Majesty, I surrender all I make You the Centre of my life Lord I respond with all I am You placed in me the song Of Heaven's melody Your Majesty, I live to sing Your song
I have found Your peace, it replaces any fear You have done it all, I can trust in You Lord I'm stepping out, from the comfort zone Letting go of me, holding on to You
This is Your song, not mine It is Your song, that brings healing to this land This is Your song, not mine It is Your song, that brings freedom
ha..just remember i went for a treetop walk last week. a good workout coz i din quite exercise for something. but i have to say im abit disappointed by the lack of kick to go up coz we took the shortest route as some of us have something on in the afternoon.
and well, this time i decide to do something different. coz i realise my blog dun relai have pic ah..so this time decide to let the pic do the toking itself. ha.. and is unusual of me as well. guess coz im a bit bored lah. is 2.20am and im still wide awake. reason being i slept too much today and i juz drank coke with lime... so well, im still here... hopefuli it wun affect too much for tmr's svc! :)
well here we go...
walking up the staircase... obviously..
dennis on the ranger truck
this photo was taken by the help of an auntie..who obviously dun reali noe how to take picture..:P
so..sebastian decides to take the photo himself.. but then, thats a problem.. HE is not in the photo!
and another photo without him...
so, we decide to solve the problem.. by asking another kind soul to help us! and there, he is inside alredi! :)
the guys...
this one taken by eliz.. at the gate of the treetop walk bridge..or watever u call that..
on the bridge..so many ppl that day... we din reali have much time on the bridge..but then..haha..good for me. im actuali quite afraid of heights..:(
im blocked by eileen..hehe.. sebastian teasing me for afraid of heights!! keep asking me to look down...evil
the trees..
another one...
well, and that ends the walk... nothing much lei. but another fren of mine told me that there is actuali another tower thats higher up and can look down and c the bridge.. wah piang eh... i aredi cannot make it liao.. my legs aredi a bit jelly liao... ok ok... i nd to overcome!
anyway, next day, we went mind cafe - a boardgame cafe to play boardgame and celebrate eliz's bdae. as usual, she is her pai sei self, and especiali is her bdae, she will get all the attn and she is all the more paiseh.. will try to post the photos up next time... coz i dun hv any photos.. after my cam's spoiled.. not bad a time.. though most of us are tired and cannot think well while playing the games. sebastian was a bit sianz when i keep spoiling his plan. ha! but that is part of the fun isnt it? heh.. we ended the day by goin to the famous rochore beancurd place to eat tau huei. since i cant eat, i ate my fave grass jelly!
..by grace! but then.. i dunno wats that watsoever..haha.. anyway.. 5 things abt me? doesnt my blog alredi says more than 5 things abt me??!! ahaa.. well, but u still interested to noe 5 things abt me. u can leave me a comment. haha
anyway, i hvnt been blogging.. nothing to blog. i usuali blog when i got things that are on my heart. i dun reali like to blog abt random stuff... like now. no theme, no experience, no feelings to share. and thats something i notice abt my blog when i was reading my frens' blogs. they all like to blog abt wat they are doing and was doing for the day or for those few days. i dun reali like to blog that. but rather more on events that are impressionable/ important to me.
so, nothing to blog.
well, maybe one. haha.. and that is...
everything is cleared up. and everything has ended. a closure of event.
and i am happy.
and relieved! :D
looking forward to my new year which im planning ahead.
i wasnt in a good mood ydae. and the reason doesnt seem very valid. but nevertheless, i wasnt feeling good. i dun even feel live sleeping till wee hours, not wanting to tok to ppl, or even do anything. all i did almost whole day (other than playing my new keyboard, and my guitar), i was watching the tv. i was tired. my heart was tired. i just feel like to be with myself alone. but i neo that wanst rite. ha. i was actually reminded wat i was toking to xiao mei the other time when she said she feel like closing up herself coz she wasnt in a good mood too. and i told her "cannot". that is retreating, taking a step back. as a Christian, there is never a step back about a progressive walk. and she said, is nt a step back, but a stopping to rest. after that "zhi bi", she will be back again. i told her, yes, cn take a rest, but in the Lord. but to herself.. is a step back. going back to self IS a step back. yes, now..haa... these words have come back to test me... haa.. eating my own words. i realised. and i decide to rest in the Lord of coz after much struggling. ask Him to take care of all the things. reali, reali, no matter how sincere i am. no matter how much i try. they are still by my own strength. i resliase that as much as i do wat i should do and my best, the rest will indeed by the Lord. each step is a dependence on Him. each step is a humbling experience. i am tired. somehow hurt. coz i have put in effort and put in my heart. well, thats the problem of having a people's ministry. but wat im facing is reali only a tiny, weeny, minute fraction of wat the Lord has experienced. i have been asking the Lord for wisdom and intergrity of heart and skilfulness of hands to take care of the person i was entrusted with. i knew somehow, integrity of heart, other tan skilfulness of hands is reali important. i knew that as long as i did wat i should do, i noe God will take charge. after all, it is not he who runs, or he who wills, but God will shows mercy (Rom 9:16). intergrity of heart includes that truth with love. that is real love. not humansitc love. but that real love that noes that scolding is neccessary, correction is neccessary when there are things to be addressed and things to be corrected.
the Lord is reali gracious. has been drawing me back. when im faithless, He is faithful, He cannot deny Himself. (2 Tim 2:13 rephrase)
"From following the ewes that had young He brought him, to shepherd Jacob His people, and Israel His inheritance. So he shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart, and guided them by the skillfulness of his hands". Ps 78:71, 71
this song today has been ringing in my head ever since i woke up... such a nice song.. especially the part that i was chosen by Him to belong to Him.. wat love...
this song was ringing in my mind while in vanguard today. i knew somehow my life was amiss nowadays. my life with the Lord wasnt as good as before. i still pray, i still read the Bible. but somehow that upward call, that progression, that wanting to noe Him more seemed to have cool down quite a bit. things have become like routine or even a duty. or maybe not that extreme, but i would say not as passionate as beofre. to wnat to noe Him so much more and just wanting to spend more time with Him. maybe i reali have been too busy doing thngs and neglecting my walk. or rather.. busy doing nothing.. haa.. irony.. time spend online was so much that i have to cut down. yep, so i have decided to cut down the usage of this monster that is eating up my time. so tmr onwards, i will not come online!
i need to ask the Lord to give me a new heart and a new spirit. and consecrate my life once again to Him! that zeal and passion for Him. to prepare my heart. yar, the preparation we all must have to receive something that is coming - the glory of the Lord! yes, we all must dig deep. the deeper we dig, the more we can contain when Father pour out His Spirit upon us!
on another note, im now thinking of enrolling in a certificate course on counselling. wonder if i shld, or rather if it is the Lord's will for me. i have always have a heart for the problem teens and ppl with problems, maybe coz i can relate to them as i went thru things in my life b4. i dun reali buy into that coz u r from a broken family, u have to be a problematic kid. i believe everyone can have a 2nd chance, or more than a 2nd chance. everyone nds chances rather...
other than that, i will have to endure noises in my house for the nect few days. sigh, my relatives are here again.. a bunch of noisy ppl... and rude and noisy kids.. nto only that, they are not ppl with "clean" hands. i wouldnt count them as good people. they are just some hypocrites and selfish ppl who are out to borrow money from my parents again and again. and when we are in difficulty, they will just run away - i rem wat my uncle said.. not even $100 when they borrowed from them the last time. y did my mum still lend them money in the end noeing they are hypocrites? i have to say... coz we are still one family...
im going to write a complain letter to Creative! im utterly disappointed and irritated by their svc. i will never never ever buy ANYTHING from them AGAIN! a birthday present turned out to bring me problems and trouble.. arghh!!
so, wats the problem. i just came back from Creative. and all they do is to upgrade the firmware for me! that was wat they did the other time and i din turn out to be better. now they claimed that they just upgraded to a new firmware and asked me to use that one... wah lau! waste my time lei! that means i have to keep upgrading my firmware whenever it auto shutdown agn!! i might as well go buy a no brand one and nothing happened!
i din say anything much to the customer svc person who attended to me. i aredi too fed up to explain and repeat myself to them aredi! just find them a bit cock up... read the account below u will noe. i nearly wanted to tell that person. "forget it then, y dun u just throw it away." i was so mad! i think the person noticed that my face changed, and she look abit paiseh. but of coz, i din say that to her coz i realised im not rich, if i asked her to do that, i might be throwing my money into the dustbin (though im not the one who bought the mp3 player.. it was a bday gift!). well, so i guess the rich do have an advantage. if i have money, i will really say that to her! "forget it, y dun u throw it away for me?" but then, think again, rich ppl i dun think will go back to exchange one, they just buy another one lor. is poor ppl like me who will go and exchange... anyway, i am PISSED OFF! spoils my wonderful saturday!!
for those who duno wat actuali happened, lemme tell u.
my sis bought me a Creative mp3 player for my birthday. v200 chameleon. y i chose that model is coz i thot it would be more useful than if i buy a zen micro as i have to bring its cable around. so i decided to buy one which is usb. that was july. one week after i got it, it auto shut down. as i was bz, i only managed to bring it down to Creative 2 weeks after that. that person after some test driving said that the problem is with the firmware, nothing wrong with the hardware, so he upgraded it for me and gave me the software as well and said if it happens agn, just reformat it with the software. at that time, i was thinking, if it happens agn and agn, that means i have to keep upgrading it. i was a bit unhappy with it but i decided to give it a try. 2 days later, it happened agn. so i reformated. and abt 1 week later, it happened agn... so, i keep reformat it time after time coz i was simply too busy to go down to Creative... u c Creative is not as if a very convenient place to go... ok, finally in Aug, i went down agn, and i told this guy the problem, and he noes that i sounded quite pek cek aredi and he said he will change one for me. but the problem is, they do not have the stock yet. so he said, he will inform me when the stock arrived. as i was going overseas, i told him that i wanted the mp3 back until the stock has arrived, so he said ok. b4 this trip down, i have written an email to the support deparatment, and they replied me saying that the mp3 is faulty and asked to go down personally.
for 1 and half mths, Creative did not even give me a call. in the end, i called them. and this guy who answered the phone said he doesnt know abt it as he is from the sales department and told me he will get back to me later on after he chked with his colleague. and NO ONE called back! it was after abt another half a mth b4 i finally called and asked. tell u, i am very very unhappy with their service aredi! u might be asking y i took so long, yar..maybe i shldnt have took that long. my fault that im lazy to pursue the matter. meanwhile, i just keep reformatting it whenever the auto shut-down happened agn. can u imagine wat if u are at a place whr there are no computers!! yar.. u say is impossible coz is Spore. wat if im overseas?? anyway, it is unreasonable for me to keep reformatting also. it is suppose to do me a svc not vice-versa!
anyway, back to it, i called, and the person who answered sound very surprised when i told him wat happened. but anyway, he said the stock is here and i can come and collect it anytime.
and i delayed agn.. agn due to my laziness and busyness, i failed to go down till today, and it is aredi NOVEMBER. i went down, determined not to say much coz im aredi very irritated by their svc. so in the end, when that lady who attended to me said that, i have NOTHING to say and i nearly broke down in tears coz i feel really 委屈.. i din get this mp3 to waste my time and give me problems one lor. and they are the one who promised me to change one for me. and now, say just need to upgrade the firmware. im the consumer lei!! so, if the player if it is going to have the same problem agn, i will have to go down AGAIN!! u think im so free?? free i also got other better things to do!
im flabberghasted, disgusted, dismayed, angry and fed-up, irritated and utterly disappointed! my birthday gift that gave me problems and waste my time!
SO, DUN BUY CREATIVE! after i bought it, most of my frens told me Creative always have problems coz they rush production and so din QC properly. so, dun say i mean. with that kind of QC, no wonder their shares are going down. coz standing in consumer's shoes, u dun onyl want to buy a good design, but u also wan good experience with the product. I AM A MARKETING STUDENT OK~! now Creative puts me off. they are goin to lose me forever and im goin to spread the bad word-of-mouth... 8o
i was on a retreat for the past few days. was not bad i thought for the 1st day. but of coz, it cld have been better. im not sure though if they understand where i am coming from. afterall, it is not one retreat that can change ppl. but reali, the 1st day sharing was good as we tok more and noe abt one another's lives more than just noeing u rather superficially. i think rapport comes by working with one another.
the bible studies that i have appointed each to do was more of hoping to let them learn something while they were preparing for it, and maybe pray about it coz that is the way that all of us are suppose to learn. from the studying the Word of God. however, felt that most have not reali prepare much rather than a haphazard study of fulfilling the duty coz they are suppose to share. but hope that they do really have learnt something while they prepare for it.
reali have to pray as this year draws near to a close abt this ministry in SIM. cldnt find anyone from my church who can take over. this is the preference, but of coz, it is open to anyone who has a heart to. eliz and i reali hope that this will not in the next year or so will dwindle into just a guitar club, but hoping to at least leave a legacy in the heart of the ppl. yar, to touch a few hearts are good enough for me, but of coz, if there's more it will be much better. God is faithful and gracious. and i learnt much from this experience. the strength and weaknesses and things that i have to change and adapt and learnt while doing all these.
Legacy by Nicole Nordeman
I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me And I enjoy an accolade like the rest You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery Of all the who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best At such 'n such...it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights We all need an "Atta boy" or "Atta girl" But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides the temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy How will they remember me? Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough to make a mark on things? I want to leave an offering A child of mercy and grace who blessed Your name unapologetically And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred Just want to hear instead, "Well done, good and faithful one".
about my relationship, i think the thing that bothers me most is that is that the person God has for me? i reali dun wan to miss the mark coz after some assessing, i somehow reali think that our ministry and callings are rather difft. though i think i cna go for bizness, it is still in my heart to be in full-time. not full-time church staff or missions maybe, but nevertheless full-time for the Lord. afterall, how can 2 walk togther unless they agree? ok lah, im not going to think about it anymore... haa.. meanwhile, i noe wat i shld do. :)
thought just to write here lah. i have thought about it. prayed. hvnt told my shepherd yet though. but then i have concluded, and it is quite clear also. i am not ready yet. not ready for a relationship yet. at least not for this year. and that was wat the Lord said to me at the beginning of this year too. :)
anyway, i wun be around these few days.. going to rest in some other place.. haa... i nd a break! no facing the computer!! haa...
anyway, today's CA was great! the sharing was very very good. it touched my heart. especially the kingdom-mindedness of the ppl in the church there, it reali somehow put me to shame when we ppl here are forever thinking abt ourselves and we have so much, but only to take things for granted! the ppl there were facing persecution and stress from their own families yet they are still thinking of God's kingdom! we all nd to reflect abt it...