I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...
maybe i care too much. maybe im just opinionated. but i have never seen myself as judgemental. at least i have never thought so. maybe i just din c that myself. and thats y i can never tok to someone i care. without emotions. without leaving my tears behind. and even being angry with that someone: y dun noe how to think? maybe God reali create me to have an analytical mind to think things way ahead. to think things in the big picture. to see far before i can see the small picture. and that is maybe y i never knew how to c things in details. to deal with things in details. like most ppl who see things in details, in small pic. they cant get out of whr they are in. nitpicked things which i never see as problems. but coz of this, i realise i cant seemed to be able to help them. coz i duno how to let them c in my way. maybe like my fren who said to me today," u nd to help the person to break things into small parts so that the person can swallow." how? i was thinking. coz i can c things so well that to me is almost natural. maybe like wat my fren told me ydae," the way u analyse things is reali far ahead." i have never notice that for myself. to me is almost natural. maybe im reali practical and pragmatic and emotional or sensual like i thot i am. i seemed to be like praising myself. ha. but im reali not. im not feeling gd rite now. i wonder if u understand wat im feeling now. coz i cldnt even pinpoint myself. some kind of sad, some kind of sour. mayb i reali care too much. especially with those i care a lot.
today is my turn to do my counselling role play session. ha. and i am the COUNSELLOR! we are goin to take turns for the next 3 weeks (starting from last wk) to role play either as a counsellor or a client. today is my turn to be the counsellor, next wk, client. so, the one acting as client suppose to make up a story that is non-crisis and not difficult one, eg, no homosexuality lah. ok, today have 4 teams and i am the 2nd team. i was a bit nervous coz so many ppl looking at im not sure if i can think properly. but i thot, aiya, just do my best lah. ok.. so my turn came after my classmates finished with their case of a mid-life crisis of a woman..haha.. and the counsellor happened to be a guy and he simpl have difficulty understanding the client, but he did his best to try to empthaise and comprehend wat this woman is going thru. haha. the case is such a typical woman problem. dun think a guy will reali understand.
ok, my turn came. i was thinking wat will my case be about. i thot, wat can be difficult rite... coz the case not suppose to be difficult mah... ok... but to my horror (ok..not horror..not that strong), my classmate says she is someone who just gone thru an abortion. i was like... >_<" .. im totally caught unaware! i thot suppose to do something easy isnt it? hm.. nvm.. i just take it lah.. then while toking and chatting, she said her boyfriend is 2 yrs younger than her!! not reali that surprising but but she is only 17yr old lor... oh dear!! i was like... exclaiming in my head!.. y give me such a not easy case?? at this juncture, i cn hear all classmates gasps of disbelief...but i kept my cool and just give her a nod.. i was thinking in my head.. how huh? i mean..im not sure wat are the appropriate terms and things i shld asked. and im struggling with myself inside coz i want to say i think she shldnt do that.. but i noe as a counsellor, i cant. i also noe that i nd to emphathise with her. i have to say, i can. but at the same time, must let her realise this is not right. so..my head was like thinking wat kind of questions to ask... im nt a qualified counsellor lor.. me just someone trying to earn my certificate..haha.. and learn the practical skills of counselling... ok.. then i just ask lor... i guess coz me tryin to keep myself cool, and coz of totally caught unaware, i have to admit i dun reali noe wat kind of problem is she facing... ai.. anyway, i thot i shld have explored more of her emotions than the more superficial stuff. anyway, this role playing is only for 15min...thank God!
after this, my trainers commented and went thru the skills i was using thruout the session. i then was a bit relieved when my trainers told me this kind of problem, we will nd to go thru some proper training and learn some theories coz is not the normal phase in a person's life. and so there are certain things we will be aware of. and my ability to keep cool was a plus factor. haha.. she said one of the thing that a counsellor has to do is to be "shock proof"! haha... quite fun. but counselling reali not not easy lei!
at this point, i have to admit that, this abortion thingy is definitely nt uncommon. that is a say thing. imagine the innocent lives that died.... when i said not ez case is coz i totally din expect it coz my trainer say nothing difficult mah.. thot will be going to be the normal normal scenarios... mayb like family problem, studies, stress... watever... definitely not this... anyway, i learned and im satisfied. but im going to think thru wat shld i have said and done instead if i wanna go from the emotional route instead...
btw, me listening to 祝我生日快乐.. nt my birthday lah... nice song.. but is a sad song... but i like it lei... and i think someone has to stop me watching campus superstar! oops! :P
have been attending the zion convention for the last 3 days. it was good! helped a bit here and there. somehow i was once more caught by God agn. i must admit that i wasnt doing well in my spiritual life at all for some time aredi. somehow, this time, God once again caught me and put His vision within me once agn. yes. i must not, must not give up. i must move forward. onward. set my head like a flint towards zion!
i knew God did something to me yesterday. yes. we are the hope of His glory! :) and this convention has set some things in motion for my life. focus, focus!
im now standing in front of my sch's computer terminal. *yawn* have come to study in sch today but feel so sleepy now, that my eyes are not focusing... how to study? international biz is such a boring subject... ai...
INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.
INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.
Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).
This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.
Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of "hard logic", and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* -- the dominant function for the INFJ type -- which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively.
In their own way, INFJs are just as much "systems builders" as are INTJs; the difference lies in that most INFJ "systems" are founded on human beings and human values, rather than information and technology. Their systems may for these reasons be conceptually "blurrier" than analogous NT ones, harder to measure in strict numerical terms, and easier to take for granted -- yet it is these same underlying reasons which make the resulting contributions to society so vital and profound.
wah.. i was finish with this entry when i hit the publish post button, it was said that this blog cant be found! panic. oh..my entry..my thoughts went. but thank God, it now has the "recover post" button..*phew* y no my blog??!
iNfJ - introverted, iNtuitive, feeling, Judging
was a bit bored.. or rather not in the mood to study..i was in gear 2 going to 3 - cruising along in my sch library until i decided to give myself a break.. and hm.. have been slowing down to the gear 2... and can sense that the vehicle is not reacting well. hm.. according to my driving knowledge, that would mean that u have to shift it up to gear 3 coz the vehicle nds more power! this is call 力不从心 in chinese and cause me to feel a bit uncomfortable in myself. head vs emotions. yes. half-hearted to finish up my 1st read-thru revision. ha. yes, read thru. if u can recall, i have not been attending sch regularly. i guess i only attended half of wat i paid for. so i nd to at least read thru my syllabus. i reali dun intend to get a 3rd class or below kinda thing. i knew that when i studied this time round, is not for me but for my Father above and my parents on earth. sound sad? no wor... not at the least. i have no idea why this thought did give me an extra push instead.
anyway, after digressing wat i intend to share..haha..yes. i always digress when i start coz when i login, i have a certain issue i wanted to say, but when i start, seemed that i always end up toking wat i wanted. yar.. like now.
ok.. wat i wanna say in this post is... i did a Jung personality test. for those who do nto noe who he is. he was a famous psychologist (yes, "was" dead liao). and im nt sure if i shld be using his personality test but then, since i did one, so i decided to just tell all of u the result. oh, and his personality test has been improved over time. ha.
and yes, nobody nd to say anything, comment anything and give me advice. just listen to me and i will alrite! sometimes ppl just feel that they are oblige to give certain kind of suggestion, solution or advice when tok abt my problems. actuali, there isnt a need to. sometimes i just want to pour out my woes and things so that i will feel lighter... and better... nobody nds to say anything and i will alrite. sometimes trying to cut me short and give me answers will vex me instead! sometimes i realli wish i can tok to someone whom i can pour out my innermost to him and can share my life with(but i noe that a 'him' usuali will not be a good listener, except Him lah). or a bosom fren whom i can pour my heart out to, not only toking rubbish.
i noe i can tok to God and He is always there. but sometimes, able to tok to a person does help too.