I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...
Dreamy Idealists are very cautious and therefore often appear shy and reserved to others. They share their rich emotional life and their passionate convictions with very few people. But one would be very much mistaken to judge them to be cool and reserved. They have a pronounced inner system of values and clear, honourable principles for which they are willing to sacrifice a great deal. Joan of Arc or Sir Galahad would have been good examples of this personality type. Dreamy Idealists are always at great pains to improve the world. They can be very considerate towards others and do a lot to support them and stand up for them. They are interested in their fellow beings, attentive and generous towards them. Once their enthusiasm for an issue or person is aroused, they can become tireless fighters.
For Dreamy Idealists, practical things are not really so important. They only busy themselves with mundane everyday demands when absolutely necessary. They tend to live according to the motto “the genius controls the chaos” - which is normally the case so that they often have a very successful academic career. They are less interested in details; they prefer to look at something as a whole. This means that they still have a good overview even when things start to become hectic. However, as a result, it can occasionally happen that Dreamy Idealists overlook something important. As they are very peace-loving, they tend not to openly show their dissatisfaction or annoyance but to bottle it up. Assertiveness is not one of their strong points; they hate conflicts and competition. Dreamy Idealists prefer to motivate others with their amicable and enthusiastic nature. Whoever has them as superior will never have to complain about not being given enough praise.
As at work, Dreamy Idealists are helpful and loyal friends and partners, persons of integrity. Obligations are absolutely sacred to them. The feelings of others are important to them and they love making other people happy. They are satisfied with just a small circle of friends; their need for social contact is not very marked as they also need a lot of time to themselves. Superfluous small talk is not their thing. If one wishes to be friends with them or have a relationship with them, one would have to share their world of thought and be willing to participate in profound discussions. If you manage that you will be rewarded with an exceptionally intensive, rich partnership. Due to their high demands on themselves and others, this personality type tends however to sometimes overload the relationship with romantic and idealistic ideas to such an extent that the partner feels overtaxed or inferior. Dreamy Idealists do not fall in love head over heels but when they do fall in love they want this to be a great, eternal love.
"No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier."
this verse has been ringing in my mind since vanguard yesterday.
i have to admit that i have allow myself to be entangled in the affairs of the world and even started to enjoy the things of the world. the things which i know in the past has no grip or even appeal to me. i guess they are shown to me by the Lord about the condition of my heart. some things that i thought will never happened to me, one by one, they happened. haha.. i guess this is wat they say "never say never"...
anyway, i am tired of me being where i am yet no strength or maybe no heart or maybe no zeal to get out of where i am. not sure if this is call the comfort zone. but one thing i can say, i dun think im really comfortable in where i am cos once every too often, the Lord or my leaders will come and "knock" my head to wake me up again. each time wanting to move forward, each time i got up and then sit back again. tired... sometimes, this tiredness is getting a hold of me and wondered if it is easier if i just sit down completely. but nevertheless, i know this is definitely not wat the Lord has for me. neither do i want to go on this life without fulfilling the purpose He has for me - the reason i was created for. so, move forward will i or not?? i think i need help.
well, and the Lord has been ever so good to me to give me an opportunity after another. yet, each time i choose to forgo it due to fear. im not sure when the Lord will stop giving me the chance. i fear whenever i think of that. each time saying to Him, Lord i will not do that again. i will definitely do it next time. but when next time comes, i shunned again. frustrated with the state that i am in, i do not really know what to do.
just finished watching "a beautiful mind" and "prozac nation". the thought of watching "a beautiful mind" was when i was strolling in a dvd shop trying to see if "the leap years" dvd is out. well, cldnt find it in 3 dvd shops, so i guessed it is not out yet or may not be out at all since it is a local production. anyway, the title of that show attracted me... a beautiful mind.. i wonder wat it is about. looking at the synopsis, i wldnt say that it attracted me to watch it but i thought just to give it a try since it is in a way, a true story. i have an inclination to watch movies based on true stories.
it was rather touching and sad at some point of the show. it was great to have such a supportive wife when such a calamity falls. im nt sure if real life this truly happened but it was depicted in the movie. i wondered in real life nowadays especially, will the wife have stayed on cos the husband was considered "un-functional" at a point in his life. true that i have read some stories too on reader digest, that the wife stuck with the husband even though illness struck... but again, they are of the last or an even earlier generation. in this materialistic and self-centered wold now, will it still exist. i guess this will have to do with the concept of marriage and covenant - "all that i have i give to u, all that i have in share with you... in sickness, in health. richer or poorer... till death do us part..." - does this vow matter much to ppl nowadays i wondered.
anyway, im sometimes amazed how i cld write so much without the intention of writing those comments in the 1st place. i have wanted to write abt how the mind works fascinated me again, or more accurately, how a disturbed or sick mind comes about. i have always been, can i say fascinated? i thought i wld sound sick too... haha... but i do really think about how did all those depression, multiple personality disorder, schizophrenia come abt.. how did the mind got sick in the 1st place. (after-all i have wanted to be a psychologist or psychiatrist before). those who thinks too much? stress? those who have a v sad childhood? those who suffered traumas. they are all v often reasons and background of those who are sick in the mind.
im particularly interested in multiple personality disorder where difft personalities took over in a person. and they usually comes about when a trauma happened, or when they were forced to do something they do not want to.. somehow, these personalities appear and become another person in them... scary but true... i shall one day look into some of these theories.. though most of the time these theories are a bore... well, and some psychiatrist do not believe mpd exist. i once read on a magazine that the brain cell that carries the creativity and depression are in the same area... so i think thats y many ppl who are creative have depression or have mood problems. but of cos, i do believe that mental illnesses may be spiritual too...