I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...
just now as i was having my dinner alone... as i was looking outside the restaurant, i was reflecting and thinking wat kind of a person i am... and then as i was walking home, i inevitably thought that God is very interesting to put me in places which i dun suit me at all...
there were some uncanny resemblances between my previous work place and my current one. both are messy, non-administrative ppl handling administrations (which caused much problems) and i have to built up the current media department. while my previous workplace have improved tremendously in these areas, my current one is a place i must start. i feel like im starting all over again, but in another place. feel a bit like pioneering and i was just thinking, God, is this Your will for my life? i was thinking there are a few explanations for this.
1. i always thought i have a calling for pioneering... errr... but this isnt exactly the way i thought i would want it to be.
2. a building of character - i have a dislike for doing work (note, i am referring to WORK) inefficiently and ineffectively. i dislike doing work haphazardly and with no proper SOP. [ and hence i was thinking about wat kind of a person i am... maybe like wat i heard from some people, the DISC for people are different in different areas of life. that later.]
3. i failed my last test in my previous workplace hence the repetition. 'nuff said. i hope it isnt this one. :(
toking abt my character... i was thinking it is an irony that i having a rather free-spirited character - doing wat i like whenever i like type - behaves v differently when i come to work. still, i v much prefer to find my own time to do my work, hence i think it will be great if i can just come in the office when and where i like. [ya..dream of it... unless im the boss...maybe....] i need deadlines for work and i like clear instructions..however, i need some space and autonomy too... cant be too rigid yet hvg clear instructions... is that too hard? i duno...
anyway, my current ofc is relocating so things are in a mess mess mess and i do hope things will get better when we stabilised over there... and there are many things for me to think abt without a budget... not meaning unlimited budget but no money...haha...
oh.. i was toking abt me reflecting on wat kind of person am i... and suddenly i jus feel that i am realli a 'grade B' person... y did i say that? cos upon thinking, im a person who can do a lot of things and can do many things but yet not excellent or understanding. jack of all trades is really not enough. i need to excel!
yesterday was my last day at work. somehow, i wasnt really happy. yet, i have been looking forward to this day. i knew i have to move on. perhaps it is cos of the people i left behind. but i guess the most regretful thing of this event is that i still have not manage a peaceble ending with my boss. and perhaps i should really have bid her goodbye rather than just leaving lidat. i didnt noe how i shld leave... things seemed to be rather awkward i thought and i thought she might not even want to see me. but deep inside of me, i knew i wanted to treat her with respect but did not how i shld do it. mayb it was the lack of communication or my lack of expression. i thought: why must everything be so politically correct. mayb the human soul is after all fragile. handle with care, every bit of it. this could be the part i've got to work on. we all got to learn. she too must learn. to let go. on my part, be tactful. words that seemed alrite to me, may not be alrite on others. not knowing how to beat around a bush might ultimately be my fatality..haha... authenticity is all i asked for. even if character is rough and is harsh but i accept it as it is. of cos, necessary changes have to be made but it is wat it is and i am grateful.
be true to oneself yet growing in the grace and character of God is wat i am asking for. oh God, lead me on after this... indeed You direct all our steps and even busy Yourself with them. :)