I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...
after much obstacles and discouragements frm my fellow concerned brethrens about my pursuing of the unpopular academic (to them), i have decided to defer my studies to the mid-yr intake... i think...
1. so that i can continue to pray and think thru it once more. 2. to appease those who really dun think is a good idea. haha 3. to show them this decision is reali not a whim of fancy. 4. i think is good for my company too... cos we have a few major mtgs this year till april. thus enuf time to look another person to replace me and also handle those big projects.
honestly, when i felt that God gave me the go ahead to do it, i was surprised cos i've nv expected. i was glad and with joy. but the next thought came to me 'skali this is a sacrifice isaac situation'. God gave it to me and then want me to give up. will i?' and i said to God, "pls dun do this to me!" anyway.. with much knowing fact that my leaders wun be v supportive of this decision i made, i decide i still have to let them noe. after all, they r my leaders. leaders may not be always right but one thing i noe and seemed to have lost is that God looks at my attitude.
Leaders may not be right, but they have to be respected and obeyed with a heart of submission. of cos, i grew to not just blindly obey which i think thats not wisdom and certainly foolish but to ask for an explanation. sure.. sometimes the explanantions do not seemed satisfactory too. but ya, is the heart lah...
this thing has taken up too much of my energy and strength. thru out this period of praying, asking for advices and gotten much discouragement showed me something about myself. i was angry. sometimes even angry with God. and i thought to myself: if i can get angry with God over this, mayb i shldnt take this up after all. cos is psychology more impt than pleasing God? who am i to get angry and upset with Him? anyway, the problem is really not Him.
something went missing after the 2 years of wilderness. i seen God's grace, God's mercy but yet it really caused me to be more sceptical with man as well.
anyway, taking more time to think thru, pray thru about taking this up, to me, i think is a good idea.
Hopedeferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life. Provb 13:12
