MY WORK & I

im now in the midst of wkg at home with my macbook pro...yep. bought it. thanks to a bro who actuali paid for me 1st and i will be paying him back on installments. and he actuali helped me saved on the 3.6% admin charges. Thanks! u will be deeply blessed! a Kingdom principle - give and more will be given unto u..haha.. though in this case, is nt reali "give", but the principle is still there. im amazed at hw everything look like in mac... simply wonderful and interesting. the apple ppl reali makes great interface. anyway, my entry today is nt abt my wonderful macbook pro, though it is simply wonderful and amazing.. haha...

just like wat i said just now... im not in the midst of wkg..almost finish... but then, i was thinking as i was doing... issit reali something i like? i mean the design, nt the design process itself. i reali do enjoy it... but then, i dun enjoy it as much as i was b4..i think it is mainly due to...this is no longer just an interest but my rice bowl... and hvg to adhere to the taste of my boss and not my own has been a constant challenge. (the taste of my boss' and mine is rather difft i can say) and so, i nd to constantly find a balance between wat i like and wat my boss like... afterall, if my boss dun like, i just have to keep changing and changing till she likes, so i thot, sometime it is just pointless to keep to something i like... though agn i think that to do something of my boss' style yet at the same time retain my style brought another interesting dimension to my job though... yet sometimes the things that i came out with, i felt that i no longer can recognise whether is something i like or not... and i constantly hv to ask the ppl ard me wat they think of them, will boss like it?... and as i thought abt it, i recalled on some things along the way... my fren upon noeing that i am some sort of a designer wans me to her my works that i think is the best. i replied," none i think" and she was quite surprised. and im surprised too when i replied that and it somehow caused me to reflect for a while...y? (but upon further thinking, i think i have, but it is not for my work but something personal i did for my SIM guitar club).

then today i was watching the tv for a while, reali just a while... 30min? and the show was abt tis singer who wrote a song but was thot that the music was plagiarised frm somewhr else... and this ger asked him,"so do u like the song u wrte?" and he replied,"i used to. now, im not sure." the ger replied," the most impt thing is that u like it. y do u have to care wat others say and please others?" well, it struck a chord with me deep within. "y do i have to please others?" this has all along been a weakness of mine - to pls others.

so now, as im doing my stuff, wanting to just 交差 on tue. afterall, i reali hv no more time left... my boss on saturday originally agreed to the design, then at the last minute changed her mind and she wans a design similar to wat my colleague did. and i have to say i wasnt v happy. how can 2 invitation acrds be the same, and furthermore some of the guests will be the same? i didnt say anthing that day but as i thought, i think it reali wasnt a gd idea to have 2 cards look simliar. and all my colleagues agree with me. afterall, wats the point of hvg 2 similar looking card.. so, here am i, attempting to "plagiarise" my colleagues design and trying to make it not so simliar yet similar..sighz...anyway, i have done all i can. see wat my boss will say then. i reali do hv to find my passion back. not only on designing but also serving the Lord thru this. there are certain things i hv not yet manage to understand and i hope i will soon.

let me c how long i can hold out.