well well well, after that "review" of the phantom of the opera, i decided to say something serious.

well, my life or rather my career has been looking good lately. be it in my work in CfaN or the freelance im thinking of starting, all seem to be looking well. but somehow, i just begin to wonder: are all these really God's will for me? coz somehow, i have nt chose to be in these designing line, but i was just in them just so naturally without any effort of mine. it just seemed so natural. but i was just thinking of this: does every open door neccessarily mean is God's way? well, i duno and somehow i think the answer is, it depends.

i was juz asking the Lord ydae when karen actualli asked me to consider the position i was in, to ask me to look a bit more further, to ask me to not just look at it as juz a job but a ministry and when i noe where im gg, have that vision, i can go much further. i agree with her. all along, i dun just treat the job at CfaN as juz a job but as a ministry. but somehow, that little tok she told me gives me a further ponder upon it. truely as i was juz praying abt it at home, i reali do noe that i duno abt this designing work im doing, how issit gg to contribute to my life as a whole. i knew somehow my end will be gg into the fields, but i was thinking, so how is this designing skills cmg to work in the future? issit gg to be a tool where i can used it to be a tentmaker? issit gg to be a reason that i can be based overseas? i reali duno? and somehow im asking the Lord for a vision, a direction. the Lord did give the assurance of giving me grace and skills for the work in design in CfaN and i reali dun c it as a coincidence to be put into this position doing this work, btu somehow all these still doesnt realli make sense to me at all in the future. mayb God's way is reali so much higher that i can in no comprehend at all wat is cmg in my way in the future. and how long am i to stay in CfaN? i felt is nt gg to be long, but how long exactly is short? to the Lord, nothing seemed to be long at all coz wat is 5 yrs or even 10yrs compared to eternity? well, i guess i jus have to trust and believe that He is faithful coz i noe his thoughts of me are good and they are to give me a future and a hope. :)

so Lord, help me to see. Lead me in Your ways. And Lord, even as i asked for wat i can see for my end, Lord i ask that U will even let me see the in-between. So even as i run forward, I wun be just running in circles, but straight into where You want me to be in. Lord i noe im still in training, and somehow it just seemed to be still just the beginning. and i am still just somewhr near the starting of the track, but Lord i pray, give me the endurance and perseverence to go on, to move on coz i noe Your thoughts for me are always good, Your plans for me are always the best. Lord, help me, guide me, lead me, speak to my, my Lord.