I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...
i wasnt in a good mood ydae. and the reason doesnt seem very valid. but nevertheless, i wasnt feeling good. i dun even feel live sleeping till wee hours, not wanting to tok to ppl, or even do anything. all i did almost whole day (other than playing my new keyboard, and my guitar), i was watching the tv. i was tired. my heart was tired. i just feel like to be with myself alone. but i neo that wanst rite. ha. i was actually reminded wat i was toking to xiao mei the other time when she said she feel like closing up herself coz she wasnt in a good mood too. and i told her "cannot". that is retreating, taking a step back. as a Christian, there is never a step back about a progressive walk. and she said, is nt a step back, but a stopping to rest. after that "zhi bi", she will be back again. i told her, yes, cn take a rest, but in the Lord. but to herself.. is a step back. going back to self IS a step back. yes, now..haa... these words have come back to test me... haa.. eating my own words. i realised. and i decide to rest in the Lord of coz after much struggling. ask Him to take care of all the things. reali, reali, no matter how sincere i am. no matter how much i try. they are still by my own strength. i resliase that as much as i do wat i should do and my best, the rest will indeed by the Lord. each step is a dependence on Him. each step is a humbling experience. i am tired. somehow hurt. coz i have put in effort and put in my heart. well, thats the problem of having a people's ministry. but wat im facing is reali only a tiny, weeny, minute fraction of wat the Lord has experienced. i have been asking the Lord for wisdom and intergrity of heart and skilfulness of hands to take care of the person i was entrusted with. i knew somehow, integrity of heart, other tan skilfulness of hands is reali important. i knew that as long as i did wat i should do, i noe God will take charge. after all, it is not he who runs, or he who wills, but God will shows mercy (Rom 9:16). intergrity of heart includes that truth with love. that is real love. not humansitc love. but that real love that noes that scolding is neccessary, correction is neccessary when there are things to be addressed and things to be corrected.
the Lord is reali gracious. has been drawing me back. when im faithless, He is faithful, He cannot deny Himself. (2 Tim 2:13 rephrase)
"From following the ewes that had young He brought him, to shepherd Jacob His people, and Israel His inheritance. So he shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart, and guided them by the skillfulness of his hands". Ps 78:71, 71
